Trials from God-
August 21, 2013
THis isnt a note thats really happy. See, when I write my long stories and things like that.. sometimes I do it just so I can get my emotions out. Writing out all my problems, troubles, and emotions help me to figure things out in my head even better. So writing this is something to help me out. I can’t really explain why I wwant to wrtite this out and post it on wordpress. But maybe somebody is going through something and maybe in someway, anyway this story can help them out as well….
So latley, I’ve been going through a trial. I know this trial God gave me and I know He’ll get the glory out of it. Cause he always does! I also know that God doesn’t give us something thst is too hard for us to handle. He helps us through, everything we go through. Sometimes He may not seem there, sometimes it may feel like our prayers don’t even go through the roof, and other times we feel so broken down and upset that all we can do is fall down on our knees and beg God to help us, to let us feel his prescence, and to give us a calming peace that only He can truly give. Iv’e felt all these things, latley especially.
I’ve had mixed emotions; At one point I’m so overwhelmed with these trial and troubles, and all I can do is cry and pray to God to give me a peace and to help me through, every step of the way. And then other times I feel so close to God, and Him showing me that with my life He wants me to be a missionary. It’s something i dont take for grantite. I am SO blessed to be able to be called to the mission field. It’s so truly amazing! So as I go through these trials and things, all I need to do is hear him. Let him do some talking as well. Have a silent time, while praying to God. And let Him do some talking to you. It will help you, in such a wonderful way.
I have a story;
So today, after church, I’m outside sitting on the sidewalk. Talking to some people as they walk by. I’m thinking and thinkning about all these things. The devil begins to take over and he just beats me down. I start thinking of these things about how I can’t do this, and how I can’t do that. How I’m stuck in a hole and that I’m depressed. I think horrible things and thoughts about why am I even here. Why can’t God take me to Heaven now? And so much more, cause of this trial that I’m going through. (I would write this trial, but I feel that it’s really personal. Lets just say its about one of my best friends… that I used to have… somebody who I loved and still do. Somebody who would help me out and be there for me though every step of the way. If he’s reading this… he knows who he is..) ❤
So my mom tells me its time to leave. So as I'm leavng church, I'm thinkning about him. I can see him, but I can no more have anything to do with him. It was like I was forced to rip him out of my life and think that he never existed. He is, compared to my family, "Out of the picture". He can no longer have anything to do with me.
We eventually get to walmart and I go to get a notebook, to have for school. My mom and brother walk off and get other things we need. I pick out my notebook, and I began to pray to God. I explain to God how I was feeling. I told him how I felt broken down. How I feel lost, deserted, and depressed. I told him I feel like I'm loosing everything.. I need You, LORD. I need to feel you. You are more important to me than anything in this world, more than my friends, family, and even more than my own self! So please, LORD, help me get through this trial I'm going through, that you put in my life. You've given me a peace that could only come from you. LORD, if I didnt have you, I wouldn't want to do anything anymore. Cause of this whole thing going on in my life, it's just so crazy. One day I could talk to him, then the next day, I couldn't anymore!! 😦
Anyways, as I was walking I found a one dollar bill on the ground. I picked it up, and A thought came throught my mind that the LORD placed there. And I thought about this; Do I mean more to you than money? Yes, Lord, You mean WAYYY more to me than money. Then another thought came; Am I your number one fan? It was a $1 dollar bill. Yes, LORD, you're my number one fan! My biggest fan! The LORD works in mysterious ways. And this is something truly amazing. How he calmed my biggest fears. When He was there, when no body else was. When he came to me when I cried out in prayer for help. He has always been there for me. And even though this trial is something that is hard for me now, some way, some how God is gonna get the glory through it. I may not see it now, but when the timing is perfect, in Gods eyes, that's when I'll get to see that glory.
One night I had a dream –
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the LORD and
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints
in the sand.
One belonged to me and the other to my LORD.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed thaat many times along the path of my life,
There was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the LORD about it.
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk withh me all the way. But I noticed that during the most
Troublesome times of my life
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why in times when I needed you most, you should leave me."
The LORD replied, "My most precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."
See, God will carry us during our most troublesome and worrying times. When we feel like we can't take one more step, when we feel like we may fall and can't get back up, when we can't get things straight and we just continue to cry and fall on our knees, praying to God. He is there, carrying us, helping us, giving us strength and power, boldness.
So when trials come your way, just pray about it. Don't fret my friend. When you feel like you've been left alone. And you feel like you have no body to go to, go to Jesus Christ. He will NEVER leave thee, nor forsake thee. (Hebrews 13:5)
So don't give up! Trust me, there is hope. With God, all things are possible.
(Luke 11:37) "For with God nothing shall be impossible."